Onlineorganizing.com Confessions of a Clutterholic CD

http://www.onlineorganizing.com/ProductsPage.asp?name=Confessions_Of_A_Clutterholic_CD






SONG LYRICS
There I was, in despair I was,
So deep in debris no one knew where I was.
And I had to come out of the closet,
'Cause I couldn't get into the closet,
And face a truth so catastrophic, so outre, so diabolic --
I had become a clutterholic!

I love all my stuff, I'm surrounded by stuff,
And I keep accumulating and it's never enough
I had piles on the piano, and piles on the floor...
I hadn't seen my table top since '94.
I read all the books -- tried to master Feng Shui
But I couldn't throw a single piece of paper away.

I had...
Jigsaw puzzles missing pieces, 40 years of rental leases,
Baby shoes and old eyeglasses, notes from all my college classes,
Souvenirs from summer trips and long expired memberships,
Every type of little boxes, bits of fur and silver foxes,
Hordes of fascinating books and cookbooks by 100 cooks,
Photos from the Caribbean, from the Dead Sea, the Aegean,
Beads and wires and tools for beading, magazines I plan on reading,
Socks and gloves that have lost their mate, against which I won't discriminate,
Articles I never read, and 50 hats on a styrofoam head!

I reached rock bottom and I ran to the phone
Someone help me, I cried, I cannot do this alone!
And before I could ponder which things to hide,
An organizing specialist was by my side.
He had more manila folders than ever I'd seen,
And then he revealed...his wondrous labeling machine.

Chorus:
I'm in love with the man with the labeling machine,
He trimtabs my life, keeps my surfaces clean.
There's really nothing to it...he makes me wanna do it,
The man with the labeling machine.

He said:
You are not hopeless, not a whit,
You're merely stuck in piles of sh...stuff;
These things are simply out of place.
When you give them a name, they will have a space.
So he cranked out those labels categorically,
Progressively reducing my anxiety.

Yes, he cranked out those labels one two and three,
And pretty soon he even put a label on me.
I'm addicted to folders, it's plain to see...
Just the other side of OCD!
No longer adrift in miscellaneous piles, I've acquired filing cabinets that go on for miles.

Chorus:
And I'm in love with the man with the labeling machine,
He trimtabs my life, keeps my surfaces clean.
There's really nothing to it...he makes me wanna do it,
(But there's something missing -- you know what I mean?)
I need a guy with a shredding machine.